


Adults and Their Lies

by noconceptoflife



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Canon, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21830761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noconceptoflife/pseuds/noconceptoflife
Summary: Caleb knows some things about her story don't add up. That she talks as if she's lived longer than she has, that she references things she should have no idea of. He doesn't care, so long as she lets him continue to be at his side.However long that lasts.
Relationships: Nott/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 7
Kudos: 85





	Adults and Their Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is all running on the idea that they've had a sexual and romantic relationship since pre-canon. Once again unbeta'ed so if you see an error or something that doesn't track pretend it isn't there cause I wrote this at 2 AM. I'll be tagging characters once they're named and have a speaking part.
> 
> Violence warning: tendon-cutting, threats of assault. 
> 
> Sex warnings: frottage, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex, Nott is generally dominant and Caleb is generally submissive. I headcanon that Nott has mild vaginismus because of body incongruence and so can't handle being penetrated for long after orgasming and that comes up. It's a totally natural occurrence that many women have and are able to live with and work around with partners if they want. But still, it's unpleasant for both Nott and Caleb in the fic.

He's asleep and then he very suddenly isn't. Caleb lays awake in bed, attentive and hyper-vigilant, trying to document what's going on around him. There's hay under his head and body, poking into his face and his hair and through where his clothes are thinner. The space smells like horses shit, along with the sharp smell of booze that is lingering from the stolen whiskey Nott has been nursing the past few days. There are sounds below, of people moving around. All things that are normal, considering he slept the night in a hayloft, but there's still something making his body freak out.

He shifts and feels nothing against his legs. There was no pressure on him and the mound of hey piled on his shins moves without resistance. Caleb stopped questioning how Nott wants to sleep within a few days of knowing her. So last night, with her boozy and bold and friendly, Nott piled hay on his legs and draped herself across him. Now the pressure is gone, and Caleb cracks his eyes open to have a look at why Nott has disturbed their rest. They scoped out this place before, and know the place is empty at noon and they only bring down hay once a week. It's only dawn now, they have hours yet to sleep. He'd like her back, a point of warmth for his feet and friendly pressure.

Nott's there, within reach, but on top of a cube of hay with her legs crossed, face in her hand. Her mask lays in her lap, bandages loose and slipping off at some corners, revealing the curl of her mouth in a soft smile. Her expression is... confusing.

He follows the line of her eyes, focusing on the stable boy below them. He's human, short and skinny, but with blue eyes that are vivid enough that Caleb can notice them from here. He's freckled, with wild curly brown hair, and is speaking to the horses in a language Caleb can't understand. It's a local language, he assumes, since the accent matches what he's been hearing from the locals. He's speaking to a large grey horse, soft and sweet and crooning as he pets the horse's snout and feeds it something green and leafy.

Caleb glances back at Nott, and he can't name the expression she's wearing. Her eyes are lidded, pupils blown wide, something he knows means she's pleased. Her ears are perked up high, which is strange because he's always seen that as excitement or anticipation from her. She has a hand to her mouth, gnawing on one nail, something he knows means she is thinking hard. He hasn't ever seen her look at anyone like that before, so what is up with this stable-hand? He doesn't seem like he's got anything valuable on him that she could want to be stealing.

The man makes a noise and Caleb looks back over. The stable hand is stretching, hands laced together and pointed towards the sky. His shirt lifts, giving Caleb an eyeful of the man's hairy stomach and the thickening of a treasure trail. Caleb wrinkles his nose. He can't imagine that's comfortable.

Nott breathes in sharply, and Caleb glances back at her, only to stick on her face. Her eyes are fixed on the man's stomach like it's the most interesting thing in the world and it occurs to Caleb that she's attracted to the man.

Right. Right.

Caleb knows Nott isn't a girl, but a woman. She drinks like the world is ending on a daily basis, makes filthy jokes... and when no one can see she watches some men with her pupils blown wide and ears perked in interest. At least once a week she takes an extra twenty minutes before joining him in their sleeping spot loose-limbed in a way that can't be blamed on liquor. She drinks, she's sexual, she's a woman and has been one for a while. It's obvious to him and his observations. 

The man leaves after a minute, and Nott watches with interest that's obvious now that he's watching.

"What was he talking about?" Caleb asks.

Nott tenses, pupils closing to slits again. The fear passes in a second as her eyes flick to him. "What?"

"You looked like you could understand him." Caleb says.

"He was- saying she was a bastard girl, and a menace, and that he couldn't wait for her to get out of his stable." Nott said. "Except it was soft and sweet, and I thought it was funny."

"What was he speaking?"

"Halfling." Nott says. "Go back to sleep. Don't worry about me disturbing you, I'll sleep here."

Caleb turns so he's facing away from her and wonders why her words feel sour in his stomach.

Weeks later, he reflects as she goes about setting up their sleeping place at the edge of another countless tiny town. She interests him both as a woman and as the only goblin he's ever had discourse with.

"As a woman" is hard to define in his mind. He's had women as friends, but Nott confuses people. Confuses him, sometimes. He knows she's an adult, repeats it in his head when she drinks and curses and watches muscular men at work when she thinks he doesn't notice. There isn't a lot that's womanly about her to the untrained eye. It's part of being a goblin, he assumes, where a part of his mind still sees her as an other rather than something that can be called a woman. She is, though. She hides her curves with her baggy clothes and bandages and has long hair that falls past her shoulders. She's a woman. Not a girl.

As a goblin is easier. Nott likes to steal, enough that they get chased from town to town with frequent capers. He would be lying if he said he didn't get a thrill from it or enjoy knowing that the coin he was spending on books came from Nott and his work. Nott likes to hurt people sometimes, and will gladly knife anyone who she knows is scum like them and won't tell the guards on her. Nott once bites near through someone's arm and left the person in the gutter, and later he watched as she cleaned the blood from her teeth.

She likes to drink before bed, swallowing a few times before settling down against his legs. Usually piling a blanket, or hay, or pine needles, or anything to the side of him before curling up in the crook of his legs. Tonight though, she's sprawled on her back across his leg, hiccuping. A bottle rolls across the ground, the remnants of a stolen bottle of wine. It doesn't get her drunk as quick as the whiskey, but Nott loves wine when she can find it.

He tugs on a strand of her hair. "You intend to sleep like this?"

She gives him a grin, all teeth and the kind of wicked joy that comes from being too drunk to care. "You're comfortable, can you blame me?"

He twirls the oil-slick green strand until it's coiled up and then lets it go so it springs back into place. "I'm not that great." Caleb deflects.

"You are." She says. "You are. You're very great. You're- smart and handsome and you have nice thighs." Her compliments end with a hiccup.

He rolls his eyes and tugs on the same strand again, but she isn't done.

"You could fuck me if you wanted." Nott says into the air.

Caleb pauses.

She peers up at him, her eyes cloudy with liquor, but calculating all the same. "Aw, thank you for not throwing up on me, Caleb."

"I wouldn't." He swallows. "I just-"

"You shouldn't, by the way. Only ever been with one man, and that was a long time ago, and now I'm too repulsive. I'd curse your dick, or something." She waves a hand. "So don't reject me, right? That wasn't me coming onto you. That- that was only a fact. If you wanted I'd fuck you." She hiccups again. "Is it gonna rain? I can't see the stars anymore."

The back of Caleb's neck burns and he takes the change in direction like a man diving for cover. "I think you're drunk. Sleep."

She sleeps and pretends to not remember in the morning. He lets her. The comment goes unremarked upon for another week.

They do bathe, sometimes. They do it separately. Nott can't stand having people see her unclothed and doesn't like to look at him naked either. So while he washes himself off in the little stream, he knows Nott is doing the same and is ripping stolen sheets into new bandages. They're off-white and a little moth-eaten but she turns them into bandages anyways. He takes some for himself, and wraps them around his arms before shrugging his clothes back on. Tonight is a sleeping outside kind of night, where they sleep close together so one noise will wake both of them at the same time.

He comes back to her and watches her in the moonlight. Hood down, face not yet bandaged, her underclothes on as she weaves bandages around her legs. She has a breast band, the kind for women with smaller breasts that don't need straps.

He sits next to her, back to a tree, and tries to not think too hard about how she's in only one layer.

Nott isn't repulsive, despite what she says. She's not beautiful, but sometimes he finds himself staring at her for extended periods of time to take in every feature. Every time he looks he notices something new and it draws him in. She sometimes opens her mouth and what comes out is something he wants to hear even when it's meaningless dribble or only a passing thought. Sometimes Nott stretches and Caleb watches her and there's a feeling in his stomach that is both light as a feather and heavy as lead.

He knows attraction, that the stirring in his stomach and his fixation on her isn't innocent friendship. And he wonders.

He swallows and reaches over to her, hooking a finger through her hair. "I want to ask you something." Caleb says.

"Mm?" Nott answers and lifts her flask to her lips. Her legs are done and she hasn't started on her arms yet. Whenever she does this, she likes to drink, as if just touching and having to see herself uncovered needs liquid courage.

"Put- you need to be sober for this." Caleb nudges the flask away from her. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow, lowering the flask for now.

"Okay, what?" She asks.

"A month ago, you told me I could fuck you if I wanted." He says, and it comes out fast. "Did you mean that?"

She regards him, frozen and still calculating, pupils dilating at a rapid pace.

"This isn't a test." Caleb says. "Any answer you have won't change how I think of you."

She relaxes at that. "Yes, I meant it." Her eyes flick over his face. "Why?"

"I would like to- if you are still interested- I find you fascinating and I trust you more than anyone alive right now." He tugs on the strand of hair. "And even if we only do it the once, then we can at least know, and-"

Nott pushes him back against the tree and her hands are at his belt buckle. "If you want me to stop, shout it." She says.

It's more accurate to say she fucks him, actually, even if he never penetrates her. She unhooks his pants and yanks his shirt up, and yanks her underclothes off but leaves her bandages on. She presses her hips to his, sliding hot and wet against his manhood with her face pressed to the middle of his chest and her hands clenched to his hips. He keeps his hands on her thighs, making sure she doesn't rock off of him. She feels damn good, and he doesn't enter her, but she clearly knows what to do to make him feel good anyways. So he tilts his head back and shouts, but it's not for her to stop.

He spends on his stomach after a few quick minutes. He leans against the tree, hands still digging into her thighs, and Nott pushes a hand down between them. He can feel her fingers moving against her and she follows him after a minute of playing with herself. Then she climbs off of him and then leans down, her tongue swiping across his stomach. And it's so erotic to see her collect his spend on her tongue that his dick twitches at the sight and he makes a choking sound

Even just this quickie, against a tree in the middle of nowhere, and he knows he wants more. But he doesn't talk about it and closes his eyes to the sight of her washing her mouth with liquor. "Been thinking about doing that for a while." She says.

It feels silly to blush after everything that just happened, but Caleb can't help it.

It goes without saying that if anyone even suspected their relationship, they might be killed or maimed for it. If there's a chance anyone might come across them, they don't have sex. Nott doesn't leave him to masturbate anymore. Sometimes he lays awake as she lays next to him, hearing the quiet sounds of her fingers on herself. When she's done she splashes a little liquor on her hands so they don't smell like sex, and then she'll roll over to fall asleep with him. He doesn't ever join her or turn around to watch, isn't sure if this is how it works now.

It takes a while before they can have sex because one time someone suspects and comes after Caleb with killing intent for it. Nott beats them to it and leaves them with their ankle tendon cut clean through while both of them escape.

When they're safe he learns what she likes. It takes some time, because her body is small and she doesn't like to look at herself. It's in some old family's root cellar that they fuck, in total darkness. He can't see her, so he traces her body with his mouth and hands as much as possible to make it easy for her.

Nott doesn't like it easy. She likes it fast and hard and dirty. She manhandles him so Caleb is on his knees and she's on one foot with the other leg hitched around his thigh. She never kisses him even though he so badly wants her to, but instead he tangles through her hair and follows the rhythm she sets. She's quick to cum, and rides him even harder to get him off too.

Later that same night he's on his back and she's riding him hard enough that his hips are going to bruise, but he just tilts his head back and lets her mark him up. It's so different to anything he's done before, this filthy kind of sex that leaves Caleb boneless. Nott has to splash booze on them to diminish the smell so no one suspects in the morning. When they leave Caleb feels smug at the way she limps. Of course, that was her own doing, and he had very little to do with it other than bending to her demands, but it still makes something inside of him smug.

That is until they find something unfortunate about her body.

Once she's on her side, facing him, and he has a hand on her hip and controls the pace and he gets her to cum before he finishes. It's a feat that he's proud of until she gets tight as a vice and yanks back off of him.

"Fuck, fuck, what the fuck." She hisses, and has her hands to her crotch and is rolling around, twitching.

Caleb, erection flagging with his pants around his thighs, tries to help but he feels too silly and exposed and worried to do anything more than hold her steady as she calms down.

"I think my vagina shouldn't have anything in it when I cum." She says. "My muscles just- I'm sorry. This has never happened before. Fuck, if my twat is broken I'm gonna carve myself a new one."

That's perhaps the worst thing he's ever heard in his life and she doesn't see the grimace on his face as she prods herself.

Nott's body is strange even to her, it seems. They both have things to learn.

He buries his face in her neck, pushing a hand against her hip. "I'm sorry." He says. "Are you in any more pain? Do you need anything?'

"A... a little." Nott admits. "I- thank you. I think I just need to rest. I'm sorry about your dick but I can watch you get off if you want."

He snorts against her. "Don't worry about that." He's thoroughly turned off. Maybe in the morning, he'll be open to that idea.

Caleb wants what's best for her, he finds. He wants to make her happy. He wants her to make him happy. And in order for that to happen, they need to be safe.

It's about the sixth time they almost get killed by being outnumbered that Caleb thinks it's time to find more people that suit their needs. He doesn't like the idea, but he is a little sick of almost dying because Nott's mask slips or because his shoes squeak in comparison to her quiet steps. Neither of them are good talkers. He can't stand to see them end up on the chopping block because of a fumbled lie or fumbled lock being picked.

He proposes the idea and Nott laughs him out of their bed.

He proposes the idea again, and when Nott realizes he isn't joking she goes cold and nervous on him. She's only receptive when he starts giving her kisses behind her ears, at which she says she'll think about it.

"But if I get my ass killed by some people who don't like that I'm a goblin I'll never get to suck your dick." She says.

That gets his attention because she hasn't talked about that before. "You want to- is that- are you sure?" He doesn't ask if it's safe. Nothing they do is safe, and he considers their relationship high-risk high-reward. High-risk because Nott's mouth is all thin needles that would catch like a fishhook. High-reward because he's seen her down fistfuls of food and knows firsthand she has no gag reflex.

"Sure as anything." Nott says, and grabs his hips to shove him down. "Wanna try it out now before we find what you're looking for?"

Nott's tongue on him is hot and slick, and her mouth even more so. She goes down easy, and he twitches when he feels her teeth press to the base of his cock and the sensitive skin at his stomach.

They start looking the next day, and finds it in the downstairs of the inn they were staying at while Caleb still walks a little bow-legged.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright folks I'm gonna start a rewatch and build up a google doc of all the caleb and nott moments that I catch and write this and my soulmate fic as I do. So expect this to be super slow to update, since I want them to match this chapter's wordlength and that's just what's gonna happen as I find a moment, see if I write about it, and move on until they match. 
> 
> The porn won't ever be super explicit but it's more like the longest collection of flash fiction in the world. The later chapters will probably be better I just wanted to throw this into the ocean and see if it floats. It follows canon, up until a point in which I will cut it off so don't worry about it following the current updating structure.


End file.
